the strive for excellence

I finally have given myself the opportunity to make something of myself. I sure as hell better not fuck this up, this is the only time in my life I'll be able to to do this.....Later it will be hard, it will seem impossible. I can't allow the same old pattern of self depreciation that has been the hallmark of my life take over. I can not fail I WILL NOT FAIL, since it is not an option. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough.....that for some reason I'm not capable of things that other people are capable of, it's times like these I curse my resolve for being so weak. I can't allow myself to be weak, or in this world I'll be eaten alive. I need to make sure I put my heart and soul into my work, into every single thing that flows forth from my pen; that it's perfection only then will I succeed. All I need to do is make myself capable......everything else will follow.