Shape up or ship out

Funny isn't it? How sometimes on my random sojourns through the interwebs I sometimes find relics of my past like this blog, sticking out like fossils on the windswept desert that is my life. It's sad to see that many of issues that plagued me when I first started this blog are still there in full force, magnified even. It should shame me to know that my life up until now has been a colossal failure; in every sense, yet for some reason I'm still in that haze that keeps me from feeling much of anything. Its obvious that the ghost that's been haunting me for this past decade is depression, no other affliction I know of has this exact combination of symptoms which I experience on a daily basis. Couple that with a healthy dose of social anxiety and it gives you me, a virtual shut in; still living at home, still uneducated, still working menial jobs/unemployed, no friends to speak of, lovelife non-existent and yet somehow I still have the will to live. I guess it's one of my few redeeming qualities, that vague drive to not give up, to know that even as my twenties are coming to a close that I'm still young, still have time to become something. I shouldn't be squandering my abilities or my talents doing the things that I've been doing to both myself, and my loved ones. This post is dedicated to the future, no matter how hopeful or bleak it may be, I want it to know I'm going to keep on fighting. I'm not going to let this bullshit mentality, this disease rule over me any longer. Its time to grow up, and shape up.